For the last 4-5 years, Darcy and I have been traveling together. Before this, I spent a few years traveling solo. I thought this section could be important to anyone who was going to bring a Significant Other, a friend, or a kid/parent. By and large, most people tend to travel alone, and pick up partners along the way if they’re going to the same place.
It’s my own personal philosophy that everyone should take at least one trip by themselves. There are few ways easier to see your flaws so clearly than traveling alone. On my solo trips, I learned mountains of information about what my limits are, what my fears are, and how I respond to different problems under different stresses.
With a partner, you can mitigate some of these problems by splitting the load. But with one person, it’s on you. Waking up at 3am, catching a 4am flight, not arriving until the same time the next day, trying to find your hotel on 3 hours of airplane sleep. It’s difficult, but once you do it, you’ll think, ‘Now I can do anything.’
Whether or not you’ve been traveling before, you have probably heard someone run down the list of why traveling alone is great. Amazing. So much better than bringing anyone.
- Meet more people
This one has some merit to it. I’ve heard that people are more likely to approach you when you’re by yourself. However, I find it the opposite. I find that I’m trusted more traveling with Darcy (whether it’s because she’s a woman, or there are two of us, I don’t know.) However, when I traveled alone, I was more outgoing, intent on meeting people and making the most of the experience. With Darcy I find myself less outgoing, and less earnest to make new friends.
- Go where you want, when you want
Sure, this one is true. But Darcy and I have never run into the problem of wanting to go to two places at the same time. I’ve already talked about how we decide where to go in the section ‘Deciding Where to Go.’
- Save money
In my experience, this is categorically untrue.
- Have a more unique experience
Eh. How can an experience be more unique?
Although I think everyone should take at least one trip alone, I do think that traveling solo is lonely. Especially if you’re an outgoing person, you might find solo travel to be especially depressing. I’ve known a handful of people who end up coming home after a few weeks, telling me they just couldn’t handle it.
And this is okay. Some people are incredibly well adjusted to traveling alone, and they end up quitting their job and traveling solo full time, hopping from place to place. This isn’t everyone. If you find yourself floundering on your first solo trip, don’t panic. You aren’t alone. You can always go home.
And when you set out again, you might want to go with someone.
- Fights
Strange thing to stat with, I know. But we had more fights, or arguments, in that first month of traveling than a year and a half of living together back home. When you’re traveling with someone, and both stretched to your limits, fights happen easily, and they happen fast. But you learn. Not just about the other person, but about yourself. What sets you off. Behavior you have that went unnoticed by you. How you act when you’re tired, or hungry, or are faced with the prospect of having to sleep outside. And you work through it. I will say, after that first month, the arguments became rare, and easier to manage because we had already been through so much together.
- Cheaper
Traveling with a partner is cheaper. Not half as cheap as by yourself, but pretty close. A hotel room for $70 a night is now the cheaper alternative to a $50 a night hostel bed. Even eating. When traveling alone, I always bought bread and cheese as a staple. And by day two, the bread would be hard and the cheese sweaty. But when there’s someone else to eat, we buy food more often, and therefore its fresher. Flights are sometimes cheaper when you purchase two at a time, instead of one. Rental cars are far cheaper split between two people. I used to spend nearly $750 a month while traveling. Now I average around $450. So, not quite half, but pretty close!
- Security
With two people, once person can always be on watch. Whether it be taking turns sleeping on a long train, or using the bathroom in a dodgy bar, or even at airports when you want to walk around, you’ll always have someone to watch over the bags, and vice versa.
- Stress
Surprisingly, it’s far less stressful to travel with a partner. Not only are there two pairs of eyes looking over every reservation and ticket, there are now two people looking for those reservations and tickets. When traveling alone, it’s easy to make mistakes and not catch them until too late. I can’t count the number of times I boarded the wrong train, or bought a ticket for the wrong date, or went to the ‘Hotel Sacre Coeur’ and not ‘Hotel de Sacre Coeur.’ Having someone else can reduce the stress simply by having the person there, and knowing the chance for mistake can be mitigated by them.
- Sharing the experience
This is probably the biggest reason to travel with someone, even for a short time. I can’t remember all the amazing experiences I had while traveling alone, primarily because there was no one lese there to experience them with me.
I found that when I returned home the first time from traveling, at the ripe old age of 18, that most people didn’t care, or didn’t understand what I experienced. And that’s what I realize every time I go back to where I used to live. The only people who understand the rush of seeing the spice markets of some North African medina for the first time are the people who have been there. The only people who understand the stillness you feel when seeing a sunset over a foreign ocean, are the ones who felt that same stillness.
It’s not gatekeeping, saying if you haven’t traveled, than you wouldn’t know. But if you haven’t traveled, it’s difficult to listen to someone who has talked about their travels. And, subsequently, the person who traveled (you, in this case) feels disillusioned by the whole thing.
When you travel with someone, you can share all experiences with them.
I won’t say one way is better than another, flat out. However, I have found that I enjoy traveling far more with a partner than I do by myself. Now, I can stop and have a coffee or a drink in a dingy Parisian bar, and I know there was someone there to enjoy it with me.
So if you can, take someone. Don’t just go alone.
But if you’re the type of person who appreciates being by yourself, then dive in headfirst!
If you enjoyed this, follow me! I’ll be posting a different post on traveling when I can
Nathaniel Mellor 